It’s getting really frustrating now.
Every time I feel my phone vibrates, I feel nothing anymore but disappointment. Why? Because every time I unlock that phone.. I expect it to be you. Now it’s not even that! It’s more like me desperately hoping that I’ll see your name pop up on my screen. Instead it’s someone else who I probably haven’t spoken to. Or maybe even an ex. Or someone I honestly don’t give two fucks for. One way or another I’m left just sitting here like an idiot with a worn out smile. You don’t even take the time of day to reply anymore. At least tell me you’re leaving so I’m not sitting here like an eager puppy waiting for when you would “grace” me with your presence. I feel pathetic. It’s gotten to the point that I just turn it off. No more disappointment. But you know what’s even more sad? When I turn it on, expecting to see a message or hell even a missed call from you.
But I come back to an empty inbox. I check, double check, if maybe I didn’t send a message. Maybe I said something to upset you. Maybe I’m already making you lose interest.. I feel like an idiot and I’m about ready to give up.. or maybe I’m there already. I better start taking my own advice, no expectations no disappointment.
